he weeks and months leading up to a wedding are a time of intense preparation. There is much to organise, but your wedding ceremony is just the beginning of your marriage. Above all, engagement is a time of preparation for the life-long commitment of your marriage which begins on your wedding day.

The following guidelines must be observed by all couples marrying at St Bernard’s.

What is marriage?

Marriage is a covenant by which one man and one woman establish between themselves a partnership of the whole of life, which is directed to the good of the spouses and to the nurturing of children. This union was designed by God, so that a husband and wife can share in the greatest work of creation, namely the continuation and education of the human race. Marriage is a holy institution, requiring of those who enter into it a complete and permanent giving of self. Therefore, being well prepared for your marriage is important, not just for yourselves, but for the benefit of your children, the Church and our society.

Marriage in the Catholic Church

Marriage between two baptised people takes on an even greater beauty and importance because Christ elevated it to the dignity of a Sacrament. Sacramental marriage is an icon of the bond between Christ and his Bride, the Church. This bond gives married people the grace to imitate Jesus’ model of self-sacrificial spousal love. To enter into such a lifelong union, one must be free to do so: psychologically, emotionally and physically. Mutual consent is at the heart of marriage. Both individuals must know themselves and each other well enough to make an exclusive commitment that they can keep in joy and in sorrow, in good times and in bad, until death. Marriage images God’s love, which is faithful, fruitful, forgiving and forever. It is within the family, based on the Sacrament of Marriage that we aspire most closely to the life of the Trinity. As a Sacrament, Catholic marriage demands that we accept the challenge to be real.

Guidelines for Marriage at St Bernard’s

1) Live in the parish

Church law states that the normal place where a marriage should take place is the parish where the bride or groom regularly attends Mass. Therefore, St Bernard’s gives priority to parishioners who are registered and who worship at St Bernard’s on a weekly basis, followed by parishioners who live within our boundaries. Others may be considered if their parish gives permission and they commit travel to the preparation meetings at St Bernard’s.

2) Adequate notice

The couple should contact the parish at least six months before the proposed marriage date. Given the significance of marriage, the preparation program and necessary paperwork takes some time to complete. When you contact the parish office, you will need to nominate your preferred day and time for the wedding. Once confirmed, this will need to be secured by a $50 deposit.

3) Baptised

In order to get married in the Catholic Church, at least one member of the couple needs to be baptised. We will require a copy of your baptism certificate(s). If you don’t have your original, you will need to contact the parish where you were baptised and ask them for a copy.

4) Free to marry

If the bride or groom has been married before either within the Catholic Church or elsewhere, then we are unable to set a date for your wedding at St Bernard’s until the status of the previous union has been resolved. The priest will discuss this with you at the first meeting.

5) Preparation

The Catholic Church appreciates the significance, beauty and challenges of marriage. For this reason, couples who marry in the Catholic Church are required to undertake structured marriage preparation at the direction of the deacon, priest or bishop who celebrates their wedding. St Anthony’s, Melton South and St Bernard’s, Bacchus Marsh recommend SmartLoving Engaged for marriage preparation. SmartLoving is an intensive online course, supplemented by in-person meetings with a mentor couple and your celebrant. The time you invest in SmartLoving will help you lay the foundations for a happy and holy life-long marriage.

6) Liturgical requirements

There are two settings for celebrating a Marriage within the Catholic Church: Nuptial Mass or a Marriage Service. The Nuptial Mass is normative when both parties are baptised and practising Catholics. The Nuptial Service is normative when one party is not Catholic or when one or both parties are Catholic but not regularly practising their faith.

Couples will be required to select sacred music for use during the wedding, including for the Bridal Entrance, Signing of the Register, and Recession. At a Nuptial Mass, sacred music may also be employed at the Offertory and Communion. Music used at Catholic weddings must be appropriate for the sacred setting and must be approved by the celebrant. Secular music, i.e. music that commonly features on the radio, is not suitable for a Catholic wedding. Couples will also be required to select readings from Sacred Scripture for use during the wedding. These must also be approved by the celebrant.

7) Donations

In order to secure a booking for your chosen date and time, St Bernard’s requests the following donations:
i) $50 – deposit
ii) $450 – church donation, due by the time of the wedding rehearsal
iii)$500 – celebrant donation, usually given at rehearsal or the last preparation meeting

8) On the day

You are welcome to decorate the church with flowers. You may wish to do this the day before the wedding. Usually the parish secretary will be in the office on Friday and will be happy to unlock the church for you or a friend. We are happy to recommend florists familiar with our church. Confetti is not to be used on church property. After the ceremony you will be presented with an official marriage certificate. The priest will retain all other paperwork and forward this to the Registry Office. Usually marriages are processed by Births, Deaths and Marriages Victoria within a month of the wedding.